There is one question that consistently falls into my mailbox from my readers. How do I get over my ex girlfriend? Unfortunately, this is a question that most men have thought about at least once in their life. Fortunately, if this represents you, there are some answers I’d like to share with you. Before we get to that, here is a question from one of my readers:
How do I Get Over My Ex Girlfriend?
You gotta help me out. My girl just dumped me for another guy. I’m in shock. I thought we would be together forever. I even made plans for our wedding and thought about how I was going to propose to her. Now, the bombshell drops. I don’t know what to do since I never saw this coming. What’s your advice? (James from Miami, Florida)
how to get over an ex girlfriend
Your question is one that has been faced by many others, including me. We fall for a girl who just isn’t as into us. What’s unfortunate is that we are so brainwashed into thinking that men know all of the answers to these questions to the point where it is almost embarrassing to ask. As men, this messes with our minds when we have moments where we have a hard time dealing with emotions, especially when girls are involved. Asking your buddies “how do I get over my ex girlfriend” is sometimes hard for a man for a few reasons:
- Guys aren’t overly sensitive to other guys and don’t provide other men with the close-nit support that girls receive from their friends post-breakup.
- Guys are supposed to make things work. Including relationships. Any failure is an “x” mark on his personality.
- Guys generally deal with their emotions internally verses externally. This can lead to built up frustration and anger that isn’t noticeable to the outside world.
Tip #1: Think Realistically
The downside of being in love is that you begin to think irrationally. You start to believe in destiny, soulmates, and more. While this is great to think about while in a relationship, it isn’t a realistic mindset once you end the relationship. The truth is, if the girl breaks up with you, there will always be someone in this world who was and is a better fit for you. Instead of idealizing your ex girlfriend, start to think about the negatives in your ex as well as what improvements you would like to see in your next girlfriend. Was your ex not supportive of you? Was your ex controlling? Look to find someone who doesn’t exhibit these characteristics.
Tip #2: Start Dating!
This may seem like a hard recommendation to some, but it might be the most vital of these three recommendations. If you are single, you will need to fill this void in some way. Dating others is a great way to start. Go out to social events (parties, bars, sports events, etc.) and talk to girls. If this isn’t your style, try online dating. However you do it, set up dates. It doesn’t have to be anything serious, but you need to be in the presence of other girls to help you forget about your ex girlfriend.
Tip #3: Enjoy Being Single
Think of your single time as an advantage rather than a disadvantage. Now is the time for you to focus on yourself and do things that you’ve always wanted to do. Focus on travel, school, exercise, activities and simply spending quality time with those you enjoy being with. If you are able to enjoy your life by yourself, it won’t be long before girls begin to notice and become attracted to you.
Getting over your ex girlfriend will be rough. This will especially be rough if you were thinking about marriage. However, follow the three steps above to begin your process of moving on from the girl who broke your heart